Voter Fraud and the Straw Man

           

According to a Department of Justice analysis, out of 197,000,000 votes cast in federal elections between 2002 and 2005. only 40 voters have been indicted for fraud.  With a calculator and some basic number-crunching the fraud rate turns out to be a sub-microscopic .00002%.
          Yet despite this rather trifling tally, one political party has chosen to make voter fraud an issue, big enough to engage entire states and, beyond that, regions of states. To one school of thought, it is an insidious phenomenon, capable of enveloping huge portions of the electorate, and corrupting a primary privilege of citizenship.  Enter the Straw Man.
             The Straw Man,in reality is an argument; an argument that requires the reader or listener to suspend recollection and belief of the original premise.  It has been used for ages in debate; particularly with regards to emotionally-charged issues.  The tactic makes use of exaggeration, misrepresentation. and, if all else fails,  total fabrication.  An example might be, candidate Dick believes that more county tax revenue should be allocated to restoration of highways and roads.  Candidate Jane responds that she is sorry to hear that Dick is opposed to funding for the sheriff's patrols.  In the case of voter fraud, one particular party has become rather, shall we say "cozy" with the Straw Man.
             For our purposes,  we'll refrain from naming political parties in this post.  Instead, we will refer to them by their color of preference.  The party which espouses the existence of this "grainy guy" we'll call the "Party of Red".  The party which considers him a myth we'll designate as the "Party of Blue".  As to the those who sniff the prevailing winds of sentiment during election years, and fluctuate between Red and Blue will be referred to as "Purple People".
                                                            ~Back to the chase~
             The Straw Man is "an undocumented" who takes advantage of alleged lax voter regulations.  To allow such an abuse to continue, so the thinking goes, is to jeopardize the integrity of the entire electoral process.  An organization which calls itself "True the Vote" cites a statistic that there are "1.8 million dead voters still eligible on the rolls across the country."  And if there are that many, as the reasoning seems to lead, there are 1.8 million potential abuses.  This publication states further that "2.75 million voters are registered in more than one state". 
          In both of these arguments, post hoc, ergo propter hoc, comes into play.  Translated: after this, because of this.  In other words, if this  is caused then this can be the only possible effect.  It is a fallacy introduced to this writer in Logic 101, many moons ago.  These statistics are used to lead the reader to conclude that there are four and a half million votes out there, ready to be grabbed, like so much low-hanging fruit.
          The Straw Man, in this voter fraud scenario is a person without valid documentation who exercises a right of citizenship which is not legitimately his.  He lacks a birth certificate ($10-$45), or a passport ($85), or certified naturalization papers ($19.95).  He might also lack other resources (transportation, language skills, advice) to acquire any of these documents.  As this scenario plays out, the only asset he may have working for him is the cunning to leverage the system and score a vote to which he is not entitled.
         Another tenet of Logic 101 that has stood the test of time is that it's impossible to prove, beyond a shadow of doubt, that something does not exist.  That is a rock which theologically has stood the test of time.So, it is impossible to argue the non-existence of straw men, but in the real world those most affected by more stringent voting regulations are not those who vote on behalf of dead people, or those who fly from state to state to tilt election outcomes. Rather, they are those who number amongst the poor, the elderly, the minorities, the students. Those without a powerful advocate to speak on their behalf.
           The reality is that twelve percent of voting age people have no form of valid voter identification.  The reality is that voter id laws are seen by some as a modern form of poll tax, as many of the country's poorest will not be able to vote due to a lack of proper state-issued identification.  The reality is that in states governed by "Purple People", the "Party of Red"has sanctioned voter id laws to prevent the "Party of Blue" from gaining control of state legislatures.
             The reality for your scribe is that the last six words of our nation's pledge to the flag sound rather hollow, at the moment.

           
          
            

Cosmic Questions, One More Time

Is Texas part of the "old south" (democrat, secessionist),new south (republican), or part of the Tea Party (secessionist, again)?
            Chuck R.- Columbia, MD

What good are fleas?
             Tyler C.-  Vancouver, WA

Is there such a thing as absolute space?
                               Anna K. - Houston,TX

Jesus has come.  Why is everything still so incomplete?
                      Elizabeth R-H. - Alexandria VA

Is it likely that humankind will ever be free of the masks it wears?
                         David C. - Sao Paolo, Brazil

What is love?
                          Paula R. - Columbia, MD

Why are some people so resilient while others are so

devastated by similar events?
                           Nicole C. - Portland, OR
  Will there ever be another ice age?
                           Joetta D. - Seattle, WA

Why on earth do we let anyone buy a gun?
                           Diana F. - Eugene, OR

What is normal?
                          Ellen K. - Houston, TX

How come we (collectively, not individually) are still racist?
                           Steven M. - Portland, OR

As a train passes cows in the field, why are the cows always facing the train?
                          Charles H. - Portland, OR

What prevents management from following the suggestions made by employees?
                          Betsy H. - Richmond, VA

Why is it that whenever you have to make a connecting flight, with an impossibly short layover, the connecting flight is always at the other end of the airport?
                  Mike L. - Portland, OR

(ed. note - This ends the trifecta of those questions posed by readers for which they have never received a satisfactory answer; aka: cosmic questions.  Next year's reader input will address the question: If you were in congress, and could write one piece of legislation which would be passed by both houses, what would it be?)

A Brush with John Law

It all started in a very typical manner.  I was late.  Not late by much, but late enough to set my obsessive-compulsive engines into hyper-mode.  Quite frankly, this writer/retired teacher absolutely abhors tardiness.  As often as the Bride has tried to "cure" me of this affliction, she has never succeeded.
      The hour we'd allotted to our financial advisor had extended into an hour and fifteen minutes.  (The reader might well ask: "What,  when you're well past the mid-point between your eighth and ninth decade, is the need for more financial advice?  That is grist for another mill. I digress)
                I felt this urgent need to  get back home,  have a quick bite, and prepare for a financial session of a different kind with our priest, to wit: the annual parish report to the diocese.   This was a command performance, if ever there was one. 
                When in haste, I have this tendancy to take a short cut with the seat belt: instead of slinging it over my shoulder, I do the under-arm wrap-around.  It must save at least five nano-seconds of precious time.  As we pulled out and onto the main boulevard, and arrived at the first stop signal, I glanced to my left, and there was a motorcycle policeman; gazing over at me and my prize boy-toy, the Mini Cooper. 
                I smiled, and waved.  I always smile and wave to cops.  It's just the simplest of gestures to convey that their work is appreciated.  The Bride thinks this is a mistake.  Now, she is even more convinced.  "Officer Friendly" sort of half-smiled back.  Then, as the signal changed to green, he pulled in behind me.  The next instant, my rearview mirror was shimmering in hues of red and blue.
              I pulled over, stopped, and  (sort of....) reflexively pulled the seat-belt strap out, up, and over my shoulder.  As I rolled down the window, the man in black remarked, "I looked over at you twice, and didn't see your seat belt." 
             I unabashedly replied, "That's because I had it clicked, but wrapped under my arm."

             "That is your statement?" he asked.
              "I am a retired teacher," said I, "and teachers don't lie."   
              He expressed some reservation about the second half of my claim, but did not elaborate.  That kept us both on a safe, if tentative, path of discourse.
              A few minutes later, he emerged from the back side of his bike with two, long, personalized printouts.  What a wonder of modern technology, I thought.  A computer and printer!  Behind the seat,  on this guy's bike!  Wow!
              As he handed me the detailed error of my ways,  Officer Friendly spoke candidly:  "I'm glad you told me your honest version of what happened.  That has made my job much easier.  This citation is for driving with an improper use of your seatbelt."  I was mute, but so very relieved to have eased the demands of his work.  Yes, the sarcasm finally surfaced, deep within. 
             He sort-of consoled me, allowing that I could attend a driver-safety class at a hospital an hour's drive from home, and that after a two-hour session, I would receive a certificate, which would wipe the citation off my driving record.  Cost of "tuition" for the class is ninety dollars cheaper than the fine for the infraction.  Assurance was given that my classmates wouldn't be an aggregation of derelicts.  This is an offer that can't be refused. 
            I asked, "Will this certificate be suitable for framing?"  "O.F." was somewhat taken aback by this line of inquiry; not discerning the wink tacit in the question.  He thought a few extra moments and then responded with straight face that perhaps it would.  He probably surmised that teachers are really heavily engaged in gathering certificates of completion.  Truth is, we are.

As we parted company, our connection to the thin, blue line exhorted me to "Drive Safe".  I was tempted to tell him that the correct word to use in that context is "safely", but my inner GPS directed me to an alternate route.  I simply nodded, and drove off; seatbelt in its proper place.

A Toast to Tom

"Some you meet you soon forget.

Some you meet you can't forget,

Some you meet you would forget,

and you are one of those I've met,

among the ones I'll ne'er forget."

~Anonymous~

 

This is the wood-burned inscription on the cover of a guest book in my parents' home.    It fits Tom.

 

When a guy marries, he marries not only the woman of his desires, but also absorbs in-laws and their friends into a burgeoning circle which becomes, as Zorba The Greek's Anthony Quinn once put it,  "The Whole Catastrophe!"  If he marries well, the new relationships are not so terribly catastrophic, after all.  Such was the case in 1958 for this writer.  It was then that he first met Tom.

                  As a middle school-age kid, he had an infectious, gap-toothed grin, and even in those tender years, was one who never knew the meaning of the word "quit".  There wasn't anything he confronted that he couldn't address, then resolve.  He learned much about coping with the day-to-day at his parents' feet; adopting what worked; discarding what didn't.   While intellectually quite curious, he never distinguished himself academically during his school years.

                 Once out in the work-a-day world, Tom tried his hand at various pursuits; mostly in the field of semi-skilled labor involving carpentry.....and coaching soccer.  It was through this passion for the sport the rest of the world calls "football" that our lives became more closely linked.  (As an aside, he had this incredible ability to trap the ball between the heel of one foot and the toes of the other and flick it behind his back and over his shoulder!)  During several Seattle to Boring trips, Tom taught this coach and his 6th grade players some drill techniques and strategies that ultimately produced some incredibly positive results.       

                It was the week prior to Spring Break in 1978 when I received this phone call from my soccer guru; asking what I had planned for my week's vacation, and asking if I would be open to taking a cruise with him on the family sailboat, the "Adeline G. to Victoria, BC."    Would I?  Does the sun rise in the east?  Is the pope Catholic?

    

               I rode the Amtrak train up to Seattle, and we motored out in his MG, top down, to his moorage on Puget Sound.  There She was.  All twenty-nine feet of her..... the vessel that was going to transport me on one of the greatest adventures of my lifetime.  While structurally slight, as sea-worthy boats go, she was fully equipped; galley, cots, privy.  In other words, all the essentials.

           Next morning, following a night of adrenalin-reduced sleeping, we set sail for Port Ludlow on the west side of the sound.  During this "shakedown" part of the cruise, I just tried to keep out of the Skipper's way, and to listen intently to instruction.  The most unforgettable of his admonitions was, "Hal, under no circumstances do you EVER luff!" 

                    Luffing happens when you allow the wind to get on the wrong side of your mainsail.  Such a position can lead to almost immediate disaster, including capsizing the boat.  One cannot afford to daydream while manning the tiller.  I listened, heeded, as a first mate should,  and never once luffed. 

                  Our first port of call was Port Ludlow; not a tourist's paradise, but for a seafarer, it had all the necessaries.  Tom and I dined Mexican at La Cantina, then wandered around town; ending up at a video game "parlor", where my mentor indulged in a game or two of "Asteroids", which was the big sensation of its genre at the time.  He acquitted himself fairly well.  Being a newbie to the game, I was a complete klutz.

                   The following day, we set sail in the early morning for the next port, Townsend by name.  While out in open water, Tom turned the tiller over to me for the first time.  The rush of excitement was, and is, hard to describe, but nothing compared to what lay ahead for this novice seaman.

                 Port Townsend remains something particularly special to me; not just because I had brought the good ship Adeline G safely into port, but because of all that followed.  Great dinner.  Great promenade through town, including some window-shopping at several antique shops.  These stops were prompted by the fact that the Bride and I were still very much into a "mode of acquisition", and the fact that we both love old things.  We capped off the evening, appropriately enough, by watching "An Officer and a Gentleman" with Richard Gere at the local bijou. 

While Tom had probably never assumed the responsibilities of a captain before the Adeline G, he had grown, day-by-day, in my appreciation and admiration.  He was rather matter-of-fact in his approach, as in essentially everything else I had known about him.  Never quick to criticize, but quick to point things out.  He could have become more than a great soccer coach.  He could have been a great teacher.  I forget.  In one capacity or another, we are all teachers.

                 The final port before crossing the Straits of Juan de Fuca was Port Angeles.  This is a fairly busy town, since many are not locals, but travelers wishing to catch the ferry across the straits to Vancouver Island.  As a tourist, it has more to offer than Port Ludlow, to be sure, but not as much as the more romantic Port Townsend.

              After our customary morning ablutions and sustenance, we were off to Victoria.  The winds of the Straits of Juan de Fuca are seductive.  They can play like pussy cats and be a calm, pleasant diversion, or they can become lionesque.  As we pulled out of port, with Tom at the tiller, they were the former.  Then, when we were midway across the straits, Tom turned to me and said, "You take over.  I'm going down below to rest awhile."  OK, I thought.  I'm ready for that.  After he went below decks, and had his badly needed snooze is when the fun began, amidships.

               The winds hit the Adeline G as they had never hit before.  Here we were, halfway between Port Angles and Victoria, and nothing but long waves, ocean spray, and frigate birds in sight.  Based on my recollections of the Beaufort Wind Scale, we had to be sailing at a healthy 25-knot clip. As I held onto the tiller with knuckles turning white, the "AG" canted hard to port; the mast    

leaning toward the water at a very acute angle.  The emotional merging of abject fear and total exhilaration is still fresh in my memory.  This was life on the cutting edge.                                  

After what seemed like an hour at the helm, the captain arose from his slumber, climbed topside, stretched, and surveyed the situation.  The seas and sky had returned to their best behavior, leaving him to believe, I'm sure. that nothing unusual had happened while he was "sawing logs".
His helmsman tried to keep the cool façade, but failed miserably. He had to receive the total briefing.

With our ultimate destination in sight, "His Nibs" took the tiller, and safely navigated us into port; having to resort to inboard motor power for the last outbound leg of our cruise.  We docked, right at the foot of the Empress Hotel in downtown Victoria.  That venue was totally unfamiliar to me before we arrived, and it totally blew my sox off.  This was like a breath of jolly, old England....High Tea.....promenades........formal gardens.....in North America, for heavensakes!!!   
                   As we climbed the sea-wall stairs, and headed toward the main street of the city, we spotted a local minstrel, perhaps another "old salt", who had discovered his true calling..  Not having any idea of where to alight for our evening repast, we started trekking toward a likely looking avenue, not too distant from the dowager Empress.  We happened upon a  little café bearing the quaint name, "Mac's Tea Room".  The head waiter had the most elabo- rate comb-over I'd ever seen, with mustache match.  It was quite a popular spot, but we swabbies were able to score a table,  soon after ordering an amber-colored beverage, other than tea.
       While dining at Mac's I became smitten with a dish called "Shepherd's Pie".  To this day, whenever we dine at a restaurant with pub fare, that is the most sought-after entry.  The fond memories it evokes make it all the more savory.
We then sauntered back to the "Dowager's" basement , and another, different kind of tavern; with British theme and décor, but also a welcoming smile for the "here's mud in your eye" crowd.
          The next day we decided to take in the provincial museum; a truly one-of-a-kind affair with a myriad of exhibits, static displays, and a particular emphasis given to northwest coastal native Americans.  It was while enjoying one particular exhibit that I ran into a colleague from the school where I was teaching.  She saw me, and without smiling averred, "Hal, I've travelled hundreds of miles to enjoy my time away from school.  The last person I need to see is another teacher".  Gee, Mavis.  Thanks for sharing that.
         The hours that followed went by all too fast, and were over before the sun set on the last day.  Seven days of travel and five of them spent on the high seas.  Blimey!  We were back in Seattle, and I was back on a train headed home  of a Sunday evening.  Tom, my captain, my guru, my travelling bud had given me the gift of a lifetime; the kind that when it's done right, doesn't have to be repeated.  He made sure it was done right.
            It was only a little over a week ago that I learned that my fellow cabin-mate had died in his sleep, long before we think of life as having served its full term.  To be sure there was sadness over losing such a good and trusted friend.  But I choose not to think now of what once was, and never can be again.  Instead, I rejoice that Tom played a big part in my life, and profoundly enriched it.  HLR



         

 







 





The Costco Crisis

For those not familiar with the mega-market known as Costco, it is a place where the consumer can buy anything and everything from tires to televisions to tooth paste.  It suits to a "T" almost every earthly need, especially for institutions like convalescent homes, food distribution agencies, and the like.
This writer refers to said shopping spa as the "Shrine of Saint Shrinkwrap".  If you would like to buy some "tp" for the "wc", this place has it, but only in packages of forty-eight; swathed in cellophane.   While lingering on the subject of "earthly needs", there is evidence that Costco has even gone into the business of selling burial caskets.  Dare we say, that's a grave undertaking!  
           In the View's efforts to create a vision of size for our readership abroad, the closest comparison we can conjure is the Swedish merchant, Ikea.  However, that comparison falls short in terms of scope, and the absence of meatballs and lingonberries in the cafeteria line.
           But  institutions are far from the only clientele the "Big C" caters to.  They do a thriving, and we do mean THRIVING business with the personal consumer.  It has even gone to the extent of selling things one doesn't, or in our case, shouldn't buy.  Therein lies the crisis...at least for us. 
                                            Let the record show that the editorial staff has "no axe to grind" with this wholesaler/retailer....eleven months out of the year.  It's a variation of peaceful co-existence, to wit: I live in peace with the firm,  as long as the Bride doesn't require my presence when she makes her pilgrimages  there.  When she does, the relationship degrades to "tentative" status.  Then it becomes a matter of survival in the aisles and checkout lines as hordes and hordes of people converge on the same aisles and lines, and at the same times.   It's then that we (meaning "I") lapse into teeth-gritting mode.  The smile through clenched teeth fades only after we exit the parking lot.
                                        It is that twelfth month, during the season of Advent that all

manner of spiritual and visceral restraint is required.  To her credit, the Bride habitually takes with her a list of needs, most all of which can be deemed "practical" in nature.  However, even during the eleven "off-months", she is occasionally inclined toward the impulsive purchase.  (There are vendors, plying their "freebie samples" generously scattered, throughout.)  Again, from January through November, she fetches nary a pout from the patriarch. But December is a "whole 'nother ballgame.  It is then when this Big House Baron becomes our (read that "my") avowed enemy.
                                     Your scribe takes little pride in his domestic  accomplishments.  He performs the obligatory spousal duties, which go unnoticed, as they should...unless of course, they are forgotten.   His guitar-playing, charitably speaking, would be considered "serviceable" by a modest number of friends.  But when it comes to Christmas gift selection for "You-Know-Who", that is when he strives to be a total, uncontested, two-thumbs-up winner.  Year after year, pride is gained from knowing what the Lady wants.  But, it is written: "Pride goeth before a fall".  I believe that quote comes from the 1st book of Hesitations.

                                     My Damsel has needed a desk lamp, but not just any desk lamp would do, owing to the space in which it was to be used.  It is an old-fashioned "secretary" desk, which her mother used for many years.  Shelf area on it is severely limited.  So also were a whole host of options which mandated: no clamps, no holes drilled, and nothing higher than her desktop.  The challenge was assumed by this writer as his Christmas crusade.  He was going to find just the right lamp for his Lady's needs or die the valiant, knightly death in trying.  Ultimately, he succeeded!!  But wait, there's more..........

 

 

             A short, scant two days following the online order, the abovementioned Bride did her monthly C- thing, and feeling in dire need.....a dire need that could only be addressed in one location....that location being the secretary where she attends to practically everything having to do with her computer.  She did the very agonizing thing I so desperately wanted to avoid!!  My reputation as a black-belt gift buyer went out the window as she showed me a box....a box containing a wretched desk lamp.  I could feel the wind, heading south of my sails. 
              Once she had been given the confessional clue, naturally that lamp was never to see the light of day on the hill.  So when presents were unwrapped on Christmas morn, there it was, in all its partially assembled splendor; Allen wrench, provided.  And of course, there wasn't a gasp of surprise or an "oh-my-gawsh".  There was simply a hug and a kiss for a need that was answered. 
           The light is "old-timey" enough to match the furniture's period.  It really does illuminate quite handsomely.  Wound-licking has ceased, and this renaissance geezer will rise up off the mat to resume the search for the next, soon-to-be, most perfect gift. 
                                                       A blessed Christmas and Yuletide season to all our loyal readers.
            
 

 

 

From the Dark Side

           

Let the record show that we are no great fan of that stretch of time between All Saints Day and the Vernal Equinox; roughly, from November 1st to March 30th.  The following parable is intended to illustrate this conviction:

          A team of psychologists conducted an experiment to determine what makes an eight year-old feel happy.  They placed the "control" subject in a room filled with all manner of toys; electronic gadgets, warm and fuzzy stuffed animals, and video games.  Meanwhile, the same team placed the "test" subject in a room; loaded knee high in horse manure.  An hour later, the scientists returned to observe the results of their experiment.

                       The subject in the room, filled with all conceivable manner of goodies, was totally bored and disengaged.  In fact, he pleaded to be released and returned to the waiting arms of his parents.  However, "Subject B", was dancing and cavorting about his test room in joyous celebration.
                    When the scientists inquired of the second boy what had made him so happy, he responded, "With all this horse poop, there has to be a pony in here,  somewhere!!" 
                     Put in the perspective of what this season of the year brings to our corner of the cosmos in terms of time and weather, we unhesitatingly identify with Subject B.
                     This is when northwesterners simulateously hunker down while searching...not necessarily frantically, but fervently, for something to raise our collective spirit.  First comes the triple whammy:  The day in which most of the country reverts to standard time, and surrenders an hour of light in an already diminishing day.  The second "hit"comes with grudging recognition that sunsets will now happen before dinner-time.  The third tale is told by the thermometer.  This is the time when the average daily temperature starts its annual migration "southward".          
            If the fruit and vegetable garden happens to be a

warm-weather pursuit, it's time to put away the trowels and hoes, and wrap pipes .The same process (call it "drudgery")  applies to potted flowering plants that please the eye, and attract our fine-feathered friends.  Think of this:  when was the last time you saw a bird smile at this time of year??  This is the season of living tough;  to sing a song of rain, snow, sleet, hail and "shiver me timbers".
                    On page 150 of the 1982 Anglican hymnal you will find a composition, penned by George Hunt Smyttan (1822-1870).  It's title: "Forty Days and Forty Nights".  The second stanza begins: "Should we not thy sorrow share, and from worldly joys abstain......."  This hymn, which is sung to the cadence of a funereal procession,  would be the perfect match for the outlook us light-deprived, house-hermits have, were it not for: A) the time at issue being of far greater duration, and B) it's place as a Lenten hymn; not typically sung during Advent, much less Pentecost.  However, it has been known to be hummed, when the weather outside is frightful, windows demand cleaning, or this hummer needs to feel penitential.
                     The staff of The View concedes that there are conditions and situations worse than daily life from mid-autumn to winter's end.  However, they make for a very short list, much quicker to dispatch.  A molar or wisdom tooth extraction; a flat tire, coupled with an empty gas tank; being cornered into conversation with someone you would just as soon avoid come to mind.

                     Now, if you'll please excuse this writer, he needs to prepare for sub-freezing temperatures which are just around the corner.  That means pipe-wrapping, generator prepping, anti-freeze equipping, and all manner of pluperfect pains in the patootie.  A pox on the house of the first person who says, "It's a winter wonderland!"

  

Meanwhile, the search  for that elusive pony continues.........

The Truth, The Hole Truth, and.........

Six years ago, at the onset of our seventieth winter, the Bride and I reached an accord:  in ten years time we would eliminate so much of the material accumulation of the past forty-four years that we would be able to gracefully sashay into accommodations more suitable for a pair of octogenarians. Read that,  "downsizing" and "elderly".  We would tackle one room each year and dispatch to some charity what we couldn't triage to our own offspring.

                          In principle, that proposal was worth-while. In practice it has been about as successful as the Ford Edsel.  Six years later, we are still struggling to check off one room.  As batting averages go, we're below .100.

                        Our dear Son, the number cruncher of the clan has floated discrete suggestions that we ought to be talking to a financial advisor, a realtor, and....(gasp)  research"community-living" facilities.  His counsel is wise, but revolves around the biting of a bullet that could break our teeth.

                       On the other hand,  one and only daughter advocates an alternative, to wit: "Stay as long as you want. In your will, just leave us enough money to hire a dumpster to haul everything off."  My reaction to this was, "a (as in one) dumpster?"  It will require a fleet of dumpsters to merely dispose of the contents of two basement storage rooms!

                      Obviously, Daughter has the more comfortable solution.  It is far more consistent with this rennaisance geezer's work ethic, especially when contemplating a hole in suggestion number one.  The hole in question is located just around the corner from this writer's "man cave"; known alternatively as "The Dungeon".  
                   This cave is our afternoon refuge wherein resides amateur radio equipment, the pc desktop, and a couple of walls covered with "attaboys" and bookshelves filled with "how-to's" and "been-there's" of one kind or another.  It is also the incubator for this monthly blog.   Here is where ideas hatch.
                      But to get here from there, a small ripple in the carpet must be crossed.  That ripple was created by a break in the water line beneath the concrete, years ago.  Since then, the piping has been re-routed, but the ripple remains.  And with it comes the undying, daily reminder of what must be done to make it disappear, and permit this abode to pass the ever-critical eye of a house inspector.  If he sees it, he will doubtless say, "You know, the hole beneath this ripple is a reflection on your character."                
                    That accusation would skewer me to the paneling and carpet, which must be scrapped so that the hole can be patched... to appease that awaiting one-man judge and jury.  Translation:  beau coups bucks, dear reader.  Add to that, a ton of effort to pack and move, and you have all the makings of a twenty-first century Prometheus; bound by the inertia of hard choices.

                It is while contemplating this dilema that I am reminded of the wisdom of my dear friend of many decades, Ben S.: "There are some days when it's too cold to work.  There are some days when it's too hot to work.  And, there are some days when it's too nice to work."
              Riding that train of thought to the next station,  it could be argued that procrastination has very powerful incentives.  Today is much too nice. Tomorrow is another day.  At least that's what Scarlett O'Hara told Rhett Butler.